Miss Portland Diner

The American breakfast, bacon and eggs, is alive and well  at Portland diners and hash houses.  But the tab has gone sky high.  While we’re all having sticker shock as consumers, perhaps the most egregious price hikes beyond the gas pump are for something we’ve long taken for granted.

The basic diner-menu breakfast used to include two eggs, bacon, ham or sausage, home fries and toast. I remember it being $6.99 not too long ago.  But after a  doing a round up of breakfast haunts, which I started in January, I’ve found it’s a solid $10 to $12 and higher for basic breakfast fare– the pay more and get less syndrome.  It’s like the  pound of coffee that shrank to 12 ounces some years ago; or boxed  cake mixes now at 15. 25 ounces that used to weigh in at 18.5 ounces. Even the shampoo that I’ve used for year came out with packaging that proclaimed  a “new look, but same old formula”  The new look was a shrunken bottle  weighing 10 ounces instead of 12.  So far a  pound of butter is still a pound.  Woe be the day when those 4 ounce sticks become 3; there’d be mayhem in kitchens everywhere.

Two eggs, sausage patty, home fries and raisin toast at Moody’s

The reliable greasy spoons that we love are charging ahead with full seats  after the pandemic closed off most dining counters.  Here’s what you get nowadays  at breakfast places in and around Greater Portland’s diners and dives.

Hot Suppa.  Only a few stools  at the counter are available in this shoebox of a space, so one doesn’t have much choice but to sit close to your neighbor. There is still table seating.  Their classic B&E is called the Hollis and costs  $12 or $16 with bacon or sausage.   But the eggs are good, though no crispy edges and the thick bacon is a bit chewy.  The hash browns are tasty, reasonably crisp, but I’ve had better.  And what’s with the one slice of toast instead of the usual two?  All in all not a bad breakfast. B+

B&E plate–the Hollis–at Hot Suppa with one slice of toast and classic hash browns and smoky bacon

Hot Suppa’s evocative mural at the entry vestibule

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Is there a town in America whose pancakes are world-famous?  The short answer is no.  Yet the national chain, International House of Pancakes (aka IHOP), has institutionalized this breakfast and brunch staple nationwide, and in my local report on pancakes I thought I should experience how flapjacks from a chain pancake house stack up against local hot spots.

I ordered the buttermilk blueberry pancakes.  I asked the waitress if the blueberries used were Maine berries.  She said yes. I should have asked whether they were wild Maine blueberries.  They were not.  They were as large as mini-mothballs, with a striking resemblance in taste.

The conclusion is these pancakes were classically mediocre–doughy, floury and rough tasting.  What’s more, a knife and fork was needed to cut them apart.  The two big blobs of butter that topped the pancakes tasted like butter facsimiles as was the array of pancake syrup on the table: classic, strawberry, pecan and blueberry.  Real maple syrup is available for a $1.99 surcharge.  The classic syrup was nothing more that high fructose corn syrup with traces of maple flavoring and coloring.  I tried the blueberry syrup, too, which had a medicinal taste.

Filled with high-bush blueberries, choice of syrups

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